well, im about to write a bit about myself. as what you guys know, im rough. well, i am. i'd been raised with 3 brothers above me. i don't play masak masak stuff. i'd climbed trees, playing boys stuff. that was an amazing moment for me but its a little bit affect my life now. now, i dont know how to get close with girls. i love to but i just dont know how. sometimes my words is totally mean. sometimes, im not lovable. but since i got a bunch of new girl friends, its effect me. i wanted to have a real girl bestfriend. who i can gossip like insanely gossip, call her in the middle of the night, share foods, share pillows, having pillows fight and stuff. yknow, girl stuff. but its seems impossible. sometimes, it made me feel stupid when one of my housemate did shared her problem and all i know is listened. i just doesnt know how to start a conversation. i do feel what she felt but mouth remains silent. if only i could hug her and say everything that i wanted to. i know how it felt to be left out. i know how its felt to be cheated on. i do. i did. but i just seems doesnt have the match words to be speak out. i rather write them a text instead of talking to them face to face. its hurt me. because of my attitude, they mostly didn't share most of their problems with me. maybe for them im not the type of friends that love to listen about others problems. hmm maybe. but youre totally wrong. i love to be a listener and imma great secret keeper. well, maybe based on my appearance, my attitude, its seems a lie but in reality, it wasn't. dear housemates, dear girl friends, if you ever read this. im sorry. im sorry cause i didnt give any motivated words. i dont give supporting hug. i didnt give what should a girl friends give caused im shy. i just too shy to express my feelings. aku just nak korang tahu. even aku jarang share masalah. aku nak sangat korang sit besides me and asked. i wont bite. im not a bed bug haha hmm dear old friends, aku just nak korang tahu that im not forgetting you. ever. tak pernah. thou dah memang jarang gila in touch, but i do remember all of you. all of our memories. tipu lah kalau tak sedih, well macam korang tak kenal aku. sedih or not, aku susah nak tunjuk. nak tengok aku nangis pun susah, apatah lagi nak tengok aku share masalah kan. aku nak korang tahu, every each text yang aku hantar, motivated text apa semua tu, its come from my heart. i do meant it. deeply from my heart. i dont mind if you guys wanna talk about anything pun dengan aku, its my pleasure actually :) sebak. till next post then.