its been quite a while since the last time i have posted an entry in my blog. MasyaAllah, reading the previous post, i cannot imagine that i am actually now a wife to the greatest Aizad (disclaimer: greatest la kot, since he always dukung me back and forth pusing dalam rumah :P)
we got married on September 2nd 2016 and month after that, im..... PREGNANT! alhamdulillah syukur Ya Allah. only God knows how thankful and blessed am i that time. teringat masa few weeks before noticed that im pregnant, i cried a lot. i did not eat that much. well, senang cerita semua tak kena la. i cannot eat rice, i taknak aizad dekat yada yada yada then we were like "ntah2 pregnant kot" and we were so happy yet nervous gila that time. yelaaaa baru sebulan lebih kahwin and tak pergi honeymoon lagi weh! macamana nak lovey dovey masa honeymoon nantiiiiiiiiii hahahaha! so the next day, lepas balik kerja. i went to Watsons and bought pregnancy test... didnt tell Aizad that im about to take the test. After subuh prayer, he went back to sleep and i went straight to the toilet. doa panjang wehhhh! dua tiga kali baca instructions. should i peed straight dekat test kit or pee dekat cawan hahahaha took the test and i waited for like 10 minutes. my kit was digital one so nampak la dia tulis calculating and alhamdulillah, i am pregnant!!!!!! shaking sgt sgt sgttttttt and dalam otak ligat fikir how to surprise him. thought tunggu sampai dia bangun but you know me, takkan boleh simpan lama :P woke him up and handed him the kit and ran and hide myself (dalam selimut je hahahaha) his reaction was priceless. we went out for breakfast and he cried. knowing that hes going to be a daddy soon and it was so happy to saw him that happy!
8 weeks of pregnant. its time for honeymoon! it is going to be the best one, the sweetest one blablabla hahahaha tk weh! i was moody and grumpy all the time.. i just want to stay at hotel and cuddle. i dont want this. i dont want that.merampuh je kerja! last day of honeymoon trip, gaduh weh kat airport! macam apa je gaduh pasal phone misplaced!!!! hahahaha
months after months, now im halfway through my pregnancy journey. 23 weeks dah yeay! i ate a lot. doubled my pants and tops size and i even wore his pants to work! now the baby is kicking.. moving. Alhamdulillah. semoga semua dipermudahkan. Cant wait for newborn shopping spree! we are now arguing about names. it should start with A, both agreed on that.. if its a boy, should we name him Alexander? or idk mannn. if its a girl, we both agreed to name her Anggun...
cepat la next check up! i cannot wait to know my baby's gender!!!
I have a confession. You have been my guiding light through the past 22 years, helping me navigate some of life’s biggest challenges. But, tonight, we are facing one of our most difficult moments. You see, I haven’t been honest with you lately… I’ve lied to you over and over again. Hundreds of times, I’ve lied. And, it seems that no matter the scope, each one left you more bruised than the next. I convinced myself that the pain you were feeling wasn’t that bad. It could be worse. By lying to you, I thought I was protecting you. That’s the thing about lying, though. It didn’t protect you from anything. Instead, it stopped you from making informed choices. Then, when those choices led to pain, you were blindsided. You weren’t broken by the actions of others. No – you were broken because of my well-intention transgression. You’ve forgiven me though, remaining open to every new adventure. While dreams have changed, loves have ended, and memories have faded, you have retained your natural curiosity about what the next page in our story holds. You haven’t hardened as you’ve followed me through this turbulent journey. That’s probably because, unlike me, you have known all along what we were searching for. While I was searching for a storybook romance, you have been searching for this girl we once knew. Sweet and kind, smart and driven – she got lost somewhere along the way. That girl understood that you were a compass that would help her find true north. That girl understood that being honest with you would help her build a strong character. And, through listening to you, that girl understood that everything else would fall into place at the right moment. Happiness wasn’t to be found in another person. Instead, true happiness derives itself from a healthy relationship with you. And, the hardest truth of all is admitting that the girl we lost used to be me. I lost myself when I tried to force fate to happen on a time table. When I couldn’t fit life’s variables into my perfect road map of a five-year plan, I tried to convince you we weren’t lost. I tried to convince you everything was normal and we were on the right track. But, that has led us down a sad path. So, today, I’m letting you become the guide again. I recognize now, that happiness with another can only endure if I am true to you and the direction in which you lead me. Heart, I promise to listen to you. I promise to tell you the truth about what is happening. While it may hurt, I promise it will heal the wounds you’ve suffered. And, after you’ve had that time to heal, I promise we will be stronger. I promise we will be happy.